"My darling, you possess a voice that can quite literally loosen bowels..."
(to a would be chanteuse who made the error of asking Larry to accompany
her)
*      *    *

"I feel as though I am on the set of a remake of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's
Nest..."
*      *    *

 "Oh sure, I'll just grab my crotch, walk backwards, go 'ooh' a lot AND play
the piano... no problem..." (when asked to play a Michael Jackson song)
*      *    *

 "The bar staff has just informed me that all the milk in the fridge has  curdled..."
 (to another would be chanteuse who annihilated Gershwin's  Summertime)
*      *    *

 "Life isn't fair. If it was Frank Sinatra would still be alive, all the impersonators
would be dead and I would be on the Queen Mary heading for Bora Bora..."
*      *    *

 "That last note was great... It's just a shame about the rest of them..." 
(to a Cruise Director who unwisely sang a song with Larry)
*      *    *
 
"This cruise is lasting longer than most of my marriages..."
*      *    *

 "If Elvis had lived, he would have been 76 years old. He would probably have  been on this cruise..."
*      *    *

 When a German passenger bellowed that Larry should do something German he  replied
"Like what? Steal all the sunbeds and invade Poland?"
*      *    *

 "No I'm NOT an Australian. I'm from the nation that sent you down  there..."